Tomes and Talismans

sta, viator, heroem calcas

Occasionally, I do regret never recording that Exile in Boystown album.

Still time, I suppose.

But does that joke become funnier, or less, the further one gets from 1996?

Kingsley famously refused to read Money because it contains a character named Martin Amis.

Couldn’t you achieve the same effect by naming him… Sam Martini? Or just like, have someone at the bar say “Martini, Sam!” and that would still allow the author the chuckle into his sleeve?

Or, it’s possible there are aspects of militant irony beyond my ken. But that seems unlikely.

Nothing happened. It never does. But it will.

Nothing happened. It never does. But it will.

My definition of a good editor is one who I think charming, who sends me large checks, praises my work, my physical beauty, and my sexual prowess, and who has a stranglehold on the publisher and the bank.

—John Cheever

SEE YOU ACE MEOWBOY…

SEE YOU ACE MEOWBOY…

Oh, shelve your Western plans.

Oh, shelve your Western plans.

"How much beer is left in the refrigerator?"

"The right amount. Because I can still fit some food in here, but not much."

America: yes, we have goo caged within a complex Dorito matrix.

America: yes, we have goo caged within a complex Dorito matrix.

Pardon me for finding it absurd that in 2010 Belle and Sebastian still sang about hating jobs / working too much.
But then, if you’re in Belle and Sebastian, I suppose you fold enough sweaters that you might as well work at The Gap.

Pardon me for finding it absurd that in 2010 Belle and Sebastian still sang about hating jobs / working too much.

But then, if you’re in Belle and Sebastian, I suppose you fold enough sweaters that you might as well work at The Gap.

Nothing will make me skip the parade, but 2014’s competing offer—plus-one at the wedding of the girl you’ve secretly been in love with for 15 years, with Paul fucking Ryan in attendance for some reason—was a robust proposition.

We’ll just have to imagine the “Perfect Way”-soundtracked montage we would’ve enacted.